Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

 “…you understand the expression ‘prime the pump’?……Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven’t heard it. I mean, I just…I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It’s what you have to do”. President Trump 4 May 2017* The group of editors from The Economist […]


“…impeach that man immediately, New Zealand.”  Jimmy Kimmell This is not pastry flake news. On last Wednesday’s Jimmy Kimmell Show the eponymous American host slammed our PM, the Patient English, for putting canned spaghetti and pineapples on a pizza he served to his children.* The Italian Embassy in Wellington also responded to this culinary crime […]


NOT ALL AT SEA

24Apr16

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree, If your soul isn’t fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule. Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be rulers of the Queen’s […]


 “In between posing for photos [PM John] Key tried on some free aftershave, swapped capital gains tax jokes…and told a crowd his wife, Bronagh, was better than him at Trivial Pursuit…” Press 23/11/11 He’s still not a bad second-but he won’t be second come tomorrow night.  Luckily elections are about credibility-not what is said, but […]


Jerry Lee would be pleased*. 111 days after the 7.1 magnitude quake on September 4 the emergency phone number 111 has had quite a workout in the last 24 hours in Christchurch. A seismic swarm of shallow and quite violent shocks was felt last night, on Xmas evening, and during the day today, Boxing Day, starting with a wake up 4.2 magnitude call just after 2am and a flurry of quakes, the largest a 4.9 magnitude jolt at 10.30am. After a period of relative quietude on the earthquake front we’ve had 29 shakes already today and it’s only 9.30pm….


Phytoplankter – a planktonic plant – proved too tricky for young New Zealand spelling supremo Tom Winter, who was knocked out of the National Spelling Bee semifinals in the United States today…


A special instant Mass Darwin Award should be given to the large number of idiots who queued up on the seabed and foreshore after the Chilean earthquake on the weekend, the better to see the tsunami at close quarters.