Archive for the ‘Funny Business’ Category

 “$1.45 million has been spent on airfreighting 900 pregnant ewes, from New Zealand to Saudi Arabia for a pilot research breeding programme in a demonstration farm…”* Ex-Prime Minister Robert Muldoon was the instigator of the infamous Stock Retention Scheme when Minister of Finance in Keith Holyoake’s 1969-1972 National Government.  Soon to be PM Norman Kirk […]

“…What mighty contests rise from trivial things…?”  Alexander Pope An Auckland café popular with the PM is hardly Hampton Court and it’s Amanda  not Arabella, but perhaps not since the mock heroic couplets of The Rape of the Lock  satirized the silliness of the dispute which arose between the Petre and Fermor families, after Lord […]

“While, unlike the proposed Leaning Tower of Rongotai. the default setting of the new 64m Megatower of Molesworth will be set to exactly vertical, the new seat of government may not remain upright for very long. Base isolation technology will allow it to automatically lean to the left or the right in accordance with which way the psephological cyclone is […]

Watching tar fall makes watching paint dry instant gratification. It took a biblical life-span, three score and ten to witness the visual aspect of an experimental countdown started in 1944 at Trinity College in Dublin to show the high viscosity of pitch aka bitumen or tar….

We keen cyclists all love our bicycles built for one but we are not keen to share them with total strangers. In the first week of the 100th Tour de France, Swedish police were on the hunt for a Dʒæk the Ripper who either dislikes bicycles built for one a lot or likes them a little too much. The Stuff story under the heading “Man caught having sex with bike”* didn’t say if the velocipede in question was the town bike, a recreational bone-shaker, a knobbly mountain bike, a stripped down racing model, a penny farthing or a unicycle….

While never the twain shall meet the Prime Minister made it clear today that he fully agrees with the sentiments of the late Samuel Clemens in that the reports of Wellington’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

At a Beehive Press Conference Mr Key said that, after the cessation of recent heavy rain, he obviously meant to say that “Wellington is drying” when addressing Takapuna business leaders last week…

Prime Minister John Key has described his recent fainting in a Christchurch restaurant as an “out-of-body experience” where he could hear voices but was unable to respond”…. some commentators from the infra red end of the political spectrum will watch closely to see if this a chronic condition or whether improvement correlates with the run up to the 2014 election….