The Rape of the Lock V2?


“…What mighty contests rise from trivial things…?”  Alexander Pope

An Auckland café popular with the PM is hardly Hampton Court and it’s Amanda  not Arabella, but perhaps not since the mock heroic couplets of The Rape of the Lock  satirized the silliness of the dispute which arose between the Petre and Fermor families, after Lord Petre cut off a lock of hair dangling tantalizingly from the head of the beautiful Arabella Fermor, has there been such a field day for hair-splitting hyperbole.

John Key’s penchant for pony-tail pulling has made international headlines and caused journalists to search high and low in the video files for earlier examples of the PM’s hirsute handiness.

In the eyes of more than a few it’s much hair-do about nothing not a Popish plot. But when you’re a politician in the public eye there’s just a hair’s breadth between being a man of the people and putting your foot in it with both hands.

A belated hair-shirt apology and two bottles of JK 2012 PM’s Pinot Noir may not cut it in the apology stakes nor calm the apoplectic. A porcine epithet might be on the cards now for the still popular PM, though “Pigtaily Key” does not have quite the ring of “Piggy Muldoon”.

Bond to the rescue?

Perhaps New Zealand First will swing into action again, this time from the deep South not the far North. Invercargill list candidate Ria Bond has just become the newest member of Parliament after party leader Winston Peters won by more than 4000 votes in March the electorate seat of Northland left vacant by the unexplained resignation of National’s Mike Sabin.

Bond is a hairdresser who has served as president of the New Zealand Association of Registered Hairdressers for six years and she also had a business background and experience as a mediator and spokesperson. In the interest of politically positioning New Zealand First, attending to the tempting coiffure in question would surely be a snip for her though the unkindest cut of all for the feisty Amanda.

Meantime let the poet have the last word:

…Hear and believe! thy own importance know,
Nor bound thy narrow views to things below.
Some secret truths, from learned pride conceal’d,
To Maids alone and Children are reveal’d

*Blinks world news 24/4/15

#Lyall Lukey 28 April 2015  My other (slightly) more serious blog


One Response to “The Rape of the Lock V2?”

  1. 1 Batch

    We noticed that the Backbencher’s John Key now has a small plait of hair in his clenched right hand.

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