Life Cycle


Lyall's new bike 006

[The transcript of my Burning Issue contribution to the Rotary Club of Christchurch Sunrise 5/4/13-plus Props].  

I have to say I got pumped up at Bill Greenwood’s recent Rotary Club Burning Issue contribution on Cycle Nazis. Bill asked: “Has the mafia taken over Christchurch in the last couple of years in an effort to solve Christchurch’s roading problems? Is that why those lycra wearing, neo-jacketed cyclists have now hijacked the Council?… What they really need are Traffic Engineers solving real problems”.

I want to remove the deadwood-and the Greenwood-from this old tyred and convoluted debate between psychopaths and cycle paths.

No personal reflection on Bill-he’s not entirely anti-cyclonic. We did road marshalling together at the Waipara cycle event- it was a tandem effort.

But recycled and worn arguments need puncturing and fixing. A quick YouTube search reveals a video item on Bill’s NZ Transport Agency which wants to demolish Peter Beaven’s Lyttelton Tunnel Control Building. What a lack of tunnel vision! NZTA needs to see the light.

Traffic engineers designed the recent post-quake fix of Wairakei Rd. When finished they painted on so called “cycle ways”. The space between parked cars and motorised traffic was about a car door’s width. Road arteries need bypasses!

Cyclists may be communists and anarchists-but they’re not Nazis-most don’t even signal horizontally like this [turning road signal] let alone like a true Nazi! [salute].

Bill is ex-Christchurch City Council-now that’s a place for Little Hitlers. They use “traffic calming”—doesn’t calm poor bloody cyclists-it’s traffic funnelling! Talk about a spanner in the Road works.

There are exceptions, but most cyclists are armless [vest]-mere MAMILS: Middle Aged Men In Lycra. (For us SUPERannuitants the acronym is SOBSTORY: Silly Old Buggers Still Telling Open Road Yarns, while sucking out of dubious plastic bottles.

Lycra hi viz is not just for cyclists; it’s Christchurch ReBuild fashionware du jour. That’s why keen cyclist Roger Sutton was recruited to head the Christchurch Earthquake Recovery Authority.

Non cycling males are just jealous of our padded shorts. As Spike Milligan said they make us cyclists very popular-and not just in the mixed bathing season! It’s an absorbing fact that they’re also useful for continence duties near the end of one’s life cycle.  Sort of cycle logical support! And logical cycle  support is what we want! We want a cycle friendly city. We need off-road cycleways for commuting and recreation to segregate car drivers and cyclists. Many of us are both.

The Christchurch ReBuild is a great opportunity for better public transport, walking tracks and off road cycle ways-funded from rates not a Mickey Mouse levy.

NZTA spent $244 million on Auckland’s Khyber Pass viaduct-but couldn’t complete the proposed walkway/cycleway underneath.

What we really need first is imagineers not engineers who can picture the right combination of factors to unlock a new era of transport in a renewed city.

In this morning’s Press there are the proposed Council Cycling Guidelines, with Copenhagen-style separated cycle paths and Dutch cycle Barnes Dance intersections, to be trialled by….NZTA!

Bill-Get on yer bike…!

*Blinks  Around the World by Bicycle: New Zealand’s South Island 

#Lyall Lukey  6 April 2013 My other (bit more serious) blog


One Response to “Life Cycle”

  1. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your site?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.

    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect
    with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

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