The Real Reason Howard Was Out Before He Was In

03Jul10

Forget all the other allegations: no true cricket lover could countenance in the top job anyone who bowled as embarrassingly as this*.

Perennial pre-election underdog “Last Laugh” John Howard has been given out by the ICC board before he managed to get in as vice-president*. His prime ministerial successor Kevin Rudd did manage to get in and play quite a few balls before he was frogmarched off the pitch between overs. At least it was by his own team rather than by two  men wearing white coats.

Howard’s nomination was rejected by six member boards. Only England and the old Commonwealth members New Zealand and Australia supported Howard while Zimbabwe abstained.

New Zealand played a very straight bat after the strong Kiwi candidate Sir John Anderson was earlier dropped down the Australasian batting order by mutual agreement.  Sir John is a highly respected cricket administrator, unlike cricket tragic Howard, and for more than a decade represented New Zealand on the ICC board, showing nimble diplomatic footwork on some politically sticky ICC wickets.

There were also racist accusations, among others: “John Howard’s hopes of becoming the ICC vice-president have hit a dead end after NewsX exposed the details of his [ironically labelled] “dark past”.*”

Other allegations are  flying, some rather historic: Howard had offended Sri Lanka in the 1990s, calling spin bowler Muttiah Muralitharan, who has the controversial bent-arm action, a ‘chucker’”. 

Whatever spin is put on it, John  Howard is  a cricket administration outsider. He’s caught in the middle of a power struggle between new cricket superpower  India and the old school Ashes Axis.

However, the real reason he was dropped is captured in this secret video clip,* taken in late 2008, by a cricket loving Russian spy on holiday from  Manhattan. It shows  Howard rolling his arm over in Pakistan. (Strangely, most of the  fielders  appear to be wearing khaki rather than regulation cream).  Forget all the other allegations: no true cricket lover could countenance in the top job anyone who bowled as embarrassingly as this.

The ICC executive board has asked Cricket Australia and New Zealand Cricket to renominate a candidate by August 31.  Anderson could get promoted up the order, but don’t bank on it; he’s pretty busy with new directorships.

On the other hand, Kevin Rudd has a bit of spare time right now and loves foreign affairs. Perhaps he could be asked to pad up. Cricket may have built a huge following in India, for all kinds of strange historical colonial reasons, but sinophile Rudd would be  just  the man to build up the Chinese cricket market, though Hitler tried and failed in Germany*.

With the Ashes series coming up in England later this year,  and Captain Ponting facing the possibility of an unprecedented three series losses in that country, he might like to ponder a slight paraphrase one of Mao’s sayings: “A team without culture is a dull-witted team, and a dull-witted team cannot defeat the enemy.”

 *BLINKS

 Howard’s end lets Kiwi seek top job | Stuff.co.nz
John Howard’s nomination rejected by ICC Vid “NewsX…the details of his dark past”.
John Howard bowling  Vid  The real reason he was not chosen.  He couldn’t get it up.
https://bluggerme.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/hitler-xi-it-was-just-not-cricket/

# Lyall Lukey  3 July 2010
http://lukeytraining.wordpress.com/ My other(bit more serious) blog 
http://www.lukey.co.nz/  http://www.smartnet.co.nz

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