Raising our spirits: Who you gonna call?

13Mar10

 “Ghosts are a pretty unusual item.”  Paul Ford   Trade Me

Forget cycleways and 4 day weeks. The real key to economic salvation for Godzone is at hand. Not only have the terms of trade recently turned in our favour; we’re on the threshold of making a big breakthrough in our Invisible Balance of Trade.

Christchurch woman Avie Woodbury last week auctioned on Trade Me two vials containing the ethereal blue alchemical distillation of two ghosts exorcised from her New Brighton home last for $2830 to electronic cigarette maker Safer Smoke  (“Smoke Doesn’t get in Your Eyes”?).

Avie has donated the proceedings, minus the exorcist’s $120 fee (plus Ghosts and Spirits Tax?), to the SPCA “for an awning across the top of the rabbits and guinea pigs”.  That worthy organization doesn’t  believe only in dog.

The vial auction received 200,000 views and was in the top 10 most popular auctions in Trade Me’s history. It is being considered as an entry in the 2011 Guinness Book of World Records*, distillery rivalry notwithstanding.

Invisible exports are clearly NZ’s pathway to economic progress. To sources of national revenue generation which do not result in the transfer of physical objects, such as consulting services, shipping services, tourism, and patent license revenues, we can now add a new homegrown niche non-product with huge potential to bridge the wage gap with the Green Baggies across the Ditch.  This should raise our spirits no end.

It’s time to exorcise our minds and really Think Big in respect to mining our valuable intangible resources. (Was that  a  ghostly chuckle from a former PM?). Just yesterday the Chief Exorcist in The Holy See (No Evil), Father Gabriele Amorth, was reported as saying that the growing clerical sex abuse scandals in the Catholic Church are proof that the Devil is at work inside the Vatican: “When one speaks of the ‘smoke of Satan’ in the holy rooms, it is all true. Including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia.”*

In his 25 years as Chief Exorcist Amorth has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession -more than one case per day, including Sundays-and has been well placed to formulate some cardinal rules for handling this diabolical epidemic. Aged 85 his impending retirement  is a great opportunity for Kiwi GhostBusters to get some of the global non action in the  Catholic Church and elsewhere.

Let’s think outside the confession box: Who they gonna call now? Kiwi GhostBusters, that’s who.  It’s  time to cut out the Northern Hemisphere middle man and offer an innovative downunder underworld  international service  via a clever Kiwi Long White Cloud Computing solution perfectly positioned to solve these devilishly tricky problems.

It’s patently obvious that,  in lieu of real innovation in this country, Chief Exorcists not Chief Economists  are NZ’s true economic salvation, despite the airtime the latter seem to get. The  bizarre business of ghostbusting requires only a skeleton staff and offers great potential to boost the weightless economy in a fully transparent way, going downward.  

Meanwhile vial buyer Safer Smoke can surely claim to be on the side of the angels,  in comparison to “the smoke of Satan”, even if the electronic Tobacco Road is still a long and winding one.

*BLINKS

News results for Father Gabriele Amorth

Guinness World Records – Records Home Page

Ghostbusters

Platters – Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

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