Tacky One Too:Taekwondo and the Olympic Spirit

18Jul09

What would Auckland pioneer and benefactor John Logan Campbell, one of Auckland’s best known and respected citizens before his death in 1912 and benefactor of the Logan Campbell Centre for Performing Arts,  have thought of his namesake prostituting his sport to get to the London Olympics 100 years later?

New Zealand Olympic Taekwondo featherweight Logan Campbell and business partner have launched an up market horizontal “gentleman’s club” near Auckland’s infamous K Rd, and Campbell hopes to get to finance his next Olympic OE off the earnings of short term double room hires from the 14 rooms, plus domestic assistance. http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/news/2586055/Olympian-pimps-bid-with-fundraising-trick  

Campbell had earlier received a $15,000 “performance enhancement grant” from government sports funding body Sparc for finishing in the top 16 at Beijing, but Taekwondo New Zealand (TNZ) has suspended the funding because Campbell has not been competing.

The obelisk on One Tree Hill was erected to John Logan Campbell, the “Father of Auckland”, in his lifetime. Appropriate though this edifice may be may to his namesake’s business venture, one can’t help feeling that he is making a monumental mistake.

They are, after all, other funding alternatives. There is clearly a role here for other  private enterprise initiatives, with Viagra, for example, being a prospective sponsorship target for a generous replacement “performance enhancement grant”, or perhaps  Bayer sponsoring complementary headache remedies.

Perhaps Sparc could get in on the act with some new fund raising ideas of its own which would extend their oddly named Push Play activities in the name of fitness. There are some fitting “escort” agency franchise possibilities which could be encompassed by the Olympic five rings. Theme concepts could include the high jump and the long jump for players, the marathon for stayers and the sprint for the prematurely challenged. We won’t even talk about possibilities to incorporate the pole vault, the discuss the shot put and certainly not the equestrian three-day events, with the funny hats and uniforms and whimpy whips.

Sparc can forget any stress on performance: in these Olympian indoor sports it’s surely not winning that matters, it’s taking part.

It’s all in the lap of the gods.

Shocking Taekwondo  Video: X-Rated video of Solitary Taekwondo in action.  Parental discretion and earmuffs are advised. Children, do not try this at home  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdWtNLkxg3c .

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